Wednesday, April 21, 2010
YIZIT
As I wander through some of my RSS feeds and emails I find it amazing how some otherwise intelligent and rational people can believe some of the most amazing urban legends. I also notice a great deal of contradiction in the behaviors of come people and the comments they might make. That brings me to a list of YIZIT. A YIZIT is not an oxymoron, but an observation of how sometimes behaviors doesn't mesh with what people wonder. Meaning "Why Is It That", WIZITs poke fun at some of the 'remember when' emails with the possibility that the panderer contributes to what they are complaining about. Just read along.
YIZIT that people who forward sayings that 'Jesus is the Reason for the Season' are first in line fighting people for good deals at Wal Mart on the start of "Black Friday"?
YIZIT that people who say that we are too easy on people today and need to make people pay for their own actions want to lower the bar and let Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame?
YIZIT that people will believe that the new dollar doesn't have 'In God We Trust' on it, are the same ones that complain we don't use a gold standard for our money valuation?
YIZIT that people save their money to go out of state or out of the country for vacation complain that there's nothing to do around here.
YIZIT that people will buy American flags made in China?
YIZIT that people who complain they don't get customer service as they used to, are the first ones to jump to something cheaper to save a penny. That penny is saved by the company by cutting customer service or using phone prompts.
YIZIT that people will say we should punish France for not supporting the Iraq war, celebrate the 4th of July?
YIZIT that people who blame unions for all the problems with American industry celebrate Labor Day?
YIZIT that people who benefited from government sponsored programs in the past, refuse to support them for the youth of today? (public school, parks, and student loans)
YIZIT that some people will read this list and be offended? It's just to provoke thoughts, not judge.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
First Date
I am not sure if this is a true story, but it is a good one !!!!!
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. ' And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being 'Pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
This weeks funnies
Now publishing comics on my website: http://www.sev.org/members/dave.davis/comics/0907036comics.html
Dave
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Art Fair
Went over to the Crosby Gardens Art Show today. Had a good time. Weather was fantastic, People seem to like to rag on Toledo as an ugly city, but this place is gorgeous. Pictures at left of the little pond – very peaceful, even with thousands of people wandering around.
I'm not 100% sure that everything I saw was art, but who am I to judge. The time these artists put into their craft is amazing. Our good friend Larry Golba didn't have a booth this year, or if he did, we didn't see it. He does lots of neat water color paintings. There seemed to be a large number of photographers this year. Also quite a few jewelry makers, since my entire jewelry collection includes 1 ring and a 10 year old watch where I can't change the minutes on – I don't think I am their target market.
I really like the wooden toys. I guess it's the Santa in me. The trains were really neat and some old roadsters would look very nice on the mantel.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Merry-Go-Round Museum
Visited the Merry-Go-Round Museum in Sandusky, a pleasant way to spend a few hours.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Visit My Santa Face Book Page
I also have a Facebook page I am working upon.
Santa Dave Davis
Create Your Badge
Labels: santa Christmas storytelling facebook
Friday, June 19, 2009
Weathertainment
We have thunderstorms; the local news is spending the first 10 minutes telling us it is raining. They even had a reporter standing in the rain saying she could feel the raindrops. And this is news????? The worst is when they show radar the splits the storm and tells us from how high the rain is falling.
News is no more, the weather has become entertainment, if there's video – it's a major story, if there is a 911 call – it's there. And then there is the investigative reporting, and massive sensationalizing of a story such as "Is Your Drinking Water Safe?" which the net-net is the opinion of somebody.
I am also noticing an increase in the "Breaking News Story" that does nothing more than spread 'unconfirmed rumors'. And when there is a real emergency, will anyone believe it. Perhaps our super intelligent marketers that say they report the news we demand, will read about the boy who cried wolf.
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